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We're taught to feel shame around our sexuality from a young age, as our bodies develop and start to function in ways we're unfamiliar with, as we begin to realize our body's potential for pleasure. Later on, women especially are taught to feel ashamed if we want "too much" sex, or if we want it "too early," or if we're intimate with "too many" people.
Conversely, women and men are shamed if we don't want nearly as much sex as our partner, or if we're inexperienced in bed. We worry that we won't orgasm, or that we'll do so too soon. We're afraid the things we want to do in bed will elicit disgust.
While doctors should be considered crucial, impartial resources for those struggling with their sexual health, many find the questions asked of them during checkups to be intrusive. Not only that but, in some cases, doctors themselves are uncomfortable talking about sexual health. They may carry conservative sexual beliefs, or have been raised with certain cultural biases around sexuality. It doesn't help that gaps in medical school curriculums often leave general practitioners inadequately prepared for issues of sexual health.
Websites such as HealthTap, LiveHealth Online and JustDoc, for example, allow you to video chat with medical specialists from your computer. Companies such as L and Nurk allow you to order contraceptives from your cellphone, without ever going to the doctor for a prescription. And there are a slew of at-home STI testing kits from companies like Biem, MyLAB Box and uBiome that let you swab yourself at home, mail in your samples and receive the results on your phone.
Bryan Stacy, chief executive of Biem, says he created the company because of his own experience with avoiding the doctor. About five years ago, he was experiencing pain in his genital region. "I did what a lot of guys do, and did nothing," he says, explaining that, while women visit their gynecologist regularly, men generally don't see a doctor for their sexual health until something has gone wrong. "I tried to rationalize away the pain, but it didn't go away."
Our Shame Over Sexual Health Makes Us Avoid The Doctor, But These Apps Might HelpSTEPHANIE AUTERI, THE WASHINGTON POSTLAST UPDATED JANUARY 11 2018, 01:07 PM
Many find questions asked of them during checkups to be intrusive and in some cases, doctors themselves are uncomfortable talking about sexual health
Our Shame Over Sexual Health Makes Us Avoid The Doctor, But These Apps Might Help
Health care on their own terms, rather than having to visit a doctor's office (Representational Image)
We're taught to feel shame around our sexuality from a young age, as our bodies develop and start to function in ways we're unfamiliar with, as we begin to realize our body's potential for pleasure. Later on, women especially are taught to feel ashamed if we want "too much" sex, or if we want it "too early," or if we're intimate with "too many" people.
Conversely, women and men are shamed if we don't want nearly as much sex as our partner, or if we're inexperienced in bed. We worry that we won't orgasm, or that we'll do so too soon. We're afraid the things we want to do in bed will elicit disgust.
While doctors should be considered crucial, impartial resources for those struggling with their sexual health, many find the questions asked of them during checkups to be intrusive. Not only that but, in some cases, doctors themselves are uncomfortable talking about sexual health. They may carry conservative sexual beliefs, or have been raised with certain cultural biases around sexuality. It doesn't help that gaps in medical school curriculums often leave general practitioners inadequately prepared for issues of sexual health.
So how do people who feel ashamed of their sexuality take care of their sexual health? In many cases, they don't. In a study on women struggling with urinary incontinence, for example, many women avoided seeking out treatment - maintaining a grin-and-bear-it attitude - until the problem became "unbearable and distressing to their daily lives."
Which may be why smartphone apps, at-home testing kits and other online resources have seen such growth in recent years. Now that we rely on our smartphones for just about everything - from choosing stock options to tracking daily steps to building a daily meditation practice - it makes sense people would turn to their phones, laptops and tablets to take care of their sexual health, too.
Websites such as HealthTap, LiveHealth Online and JustDoc, for example, allow you to video chat with medical specialists from your computer. Companies such as L and Nurk allow you to order contraceptives from your cellphone, without ever going to the doctor for a prescription. And there are a slew of at-home STI testing kits from companies like Biem, MyLAB Box and uBiome that let you swab yourself at home, mail in your samples and receive the results on your phone.
Bryan Stacy, chief executive of Biem, says he created the company because of his own experience with avoiding the doctor. About five years ago, he was experiencing pain in his genital region. "I did what a lot of guys do, and did nothing," he says, explaining that, while women visit their gynecologist regularly, men generally don't see a doctor for their sexual health until something has gone wrong. "I tried to rationalize away the pain, but it didn't go away."
Stacy says he didn't want to talk to a doctor for fear of what he would learn, and didn't know who he would go to anyway. He didn't have a primary care physician or a urologist at the time. But after three months of pain, a friend of his - who happened to be a urologist - convinced him to see someone. He was diagnosed with chlamydia and testicular cancer. After that, he learned he wasn't the only one who'd avoided the doctor only to end up with an upsetting diagnosis.
This can be the case for men and women. While many will use these options as a means to replace those office visits entirely, their potential lies in the ability to improve the health care people receive.
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