It is common belief that people are highly interested in sex. However, this is not true. There are a lot of reasons which can reduce this sexual drive, known as libido. The reasons and therefore the causes are slightly different in men and in women. Read on to know some of the most common causes of reduced arousal in men and women and how to deal with it.
Causes of reduced arousal in men:
• Physiologically, sex is greatly influenced by the sex hormones and with age, as there is a gradual decline in the amount of these hormones in circulation, the sex drive also takes a dip. This need not be the case though.
• Stressed relationships is extremely common and though hormones have a big role to play, the mind is equally if not more important. If the couples are not happy, there is going to be no sex. As plain as that!
• Excessive smoking can reduce a person’s sexual arousal and even affect performance.
• Prescription medicines, lack of exercise, anxiety and depression are other causes that also reduce sexual desire.
• Testosterone replacement therapy in males is often used to boost sexual drive.
• Lifestyle changes including regular exercise, quitting or controlled smoking, stress management, healthy relationships can go a long way in improving sexual performance.
• If there are medications that are affecting the sexual drive, talk to your doctor and switch to an alternative.
• Counselling where the partner is also involved also is very important.
Women: The causes for low sexual drive in females is very different from men.
• Cultural differences: The cultural background and upbringing contribute in a big way to how responsive a person is. When it comes to sex, we as a country are still not very frank and open, and so there could be a perceived lack of desire. This is of course in the initial stages of a relationship and given some time, things would change.
• Relationship issues: Stressed relationships are definitely a big no-no for a physical relationship. Happy relationships definitely invite a lot more intimacy between the couple.
• Hormones: Testosterone which is present in both males and females affects sexual drive in women also. This hormone also gradually reduces over age, and causes some loss of libido.
• Medical problems: Depression, anxiety, endometriosis, fibroids, thyroid issues also affect a woman’s drive.
In managing this issue in women, psychology takes over a bigger role. Talking to the woman first and if required the partner helps in solving the issues in most women. Medical conditions, if present, should be corrected to address this issue. Hormone replacement and medication substitution also may be helpful if required.
There is hardly any person who does not want to enjoy a healthy and satisfying sex life. As per Ayurveda, a healthy sex life is very much a reality provided one diligently follows the golden sex rules as mentioned in various Ayurvedic books and journals:
Ayurveda believes that a couple should refrain from having sex when the female partner is having her periods. Some health experts are of the belief that sex during periods may give rise to a condition termed as Endometriosis (the endometrial cells grow outside the uterus, often in the ovary or the fallopian tubes).
According to Ayurveda, an ideal sex position is one where the woman is lying with her face directed in an upward position.
Ayurveda also believes very overweight or obese people should avoid having sex.
Have sex only when your private parts are clean and healthy (as this helps to prevent infections and associated complications).
According to Ayurveda, loyalty and faithfulness are what gets a relationship going. Infidelity, adultery, or cheating on your wife is a crime that will only spell doom.
Ayurveda is against a couple having sex during pregnancy or immediately after delivery. One should have control over their urges. It further states that a 5-months time in the case of a C-section and 2-3 months interval in the case of a normal delivery will go a long way in ensuring a healthy sex life (will help the woman to recover well).
Ayurveda is vehemently opposes violent sex. Making love is suppose to soothe your soul rather than scar it. Violence during sex is not healthy at all.
Ayurveda believes in having sex using sexual organs. Thus, oral sex and other similar pleasures are a big No as per Ayurveda.
Ayurveda does not advocate the practice of having sex on days of prime significance such as festivals, various eclipses, on a full moon or new moon nights, to name a few.
Sex on empty stomach or after a heavy meal can trigger a plethora of health problems by causing a Vata and Pitta imbalance. The imbalance may give rise to digestive problems, headache, gastritis.
Ayurveda is strictly against the idea of having sex with aged women or with children.
Always have sex when both the partners are in a comfortable position. This is to ensure that you enjoy the intercourse sans any injury.
Never have sex if you are sick or physically and mentally not fit.
Having sex with animals (bestiality) is considered unhealthy as per Ayurveda.
Sex is not a wise idea when you have to lighten yourself (defecate or urinate).
According to Ayurveda, your sex life is governed by the four seasons during which your body strength changes.
The body strength is the lowest during the monsoon and summer, hence have less sex during that time (once in fifteen days).
With moderate body strength, sex once in three days is advisable during spring and summer.
During winter the body strength is at its peak, hence one can have sex daily.
Apart from regular exercise and proper nutrition, there are various herbs that can go a long way in boosting your sex life. Few of them include shilajit, ashwagandha, swarn bhasma, jaiphal, and kesar; let us understand how each one is beneficial.
Shilajit works excellently in increasing the stamina, this is why it is known as Indian Viagra. It helps in improving sexual performance and dealing with weakness.
Ashwagandha is another herb that helps in improving the sexual desire and dealing with infertility in men.
Swarn bhasma is known to be one of the best medicine for treating sexual problems like low libido and premature ejaculation in men. It also helps in treating sexual weakness.
Jaiphal works best in dealing with premature ejaculation. It also helps in enhancing sex life and is known as Viagra for women. Its aroma is often used to arouse sexual desires and can help you get relaxed before engaging in a sexual act.
Kesar can go a long way in improving the overall performance in bed. Mixing it with milk can do wonders in 'turning on' your partner, thus improving the sex life.
Weight loss is a major concern for both the genders. To be able to reveal your body to your partner can be tough and hence, affect your sex life. Once you lose weight, you not only score better in your normal health parameters but also your love-making skills. Here are six ways losing weight can help you get your sex mojo back.
SELF-CONFIDENCE: One major drawback of being overweight is the inability to open yourself up to your partner physically. The lack of self-confidence due to bodily issues can hinder one’s sex life massively. By losing weight, you gain the confidence to be around your partner. You also tend to be freer and this can positively affect your sex life.
YOU ORGASM FASTER AND BETTER: As per experts, when you are overweight, an extra layer of plaque is formed around blood vessels hampering blood flow in the genital area. As a result, reaching climax is tough for many overweight individuals. Shedding weight leads to increased blood flow and sensitivity, resulting in better climax.
LESSER INTIMACY ISSUES: The key to a healthy relationship is relaxed and consensual intimacy. Being overweight can tamper this process simply due to low confidence about one’s own body. Once you lose weight, this comfort level with your partner goes up. This also diminishes the possible stress of not being able to connect with your partner.
IMPROVED STAMINA: If after going for round one, you are hyperventilating to enter another, it’s time you lose weight. With increased weight comes the added disadvantage of lesser stamina and energy. Weight loss can help overcome this problem by a huge margin.
YOU CAN SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE: Unable to try different sex positions? Your weight is to blame. Different sex positions can enhance your sex life and also help you burn off extra calories in the process! Missionary can bore you to death and to excite yourself as a couple, weight loss should not sound like a big deal!
Premature ejaculation is often a cause of worry. Matters get murkier with this problem because it is not a subject people like to talk about freely. Have you ever known a man who is willing to acknowledge about ejaculating early to people around him? In all likelihood, you don't. But this isn't because premature ejaculation is uncommon. In fact, it is one of the most common clinical sexual complaints. According to a study, in the adult age group, approximately 30 per cent of men complain of poor ejaculatory control. And think of those who never make it to a doctor, due to either lack of awareness or sheer inhibition.
TIPS BY NHS: Premature ejaculation is sure a condition which needs medical supervision. But where do you draw the line? How do you know if you are ejaculating too early? A satisfactory time frame can be very subjective and can differ from couple to couple. However, if you feel that you and your partner would like you to last longer, there are certain tips you can try at home. These are recommended by NHS and work in most cases. However, if you feel that your situation is worse and you are ejaculating a little too early, let's say within a minute or two of the activity, you may need medical supervision.
MASTURBATE BEFORE SEX: NHS recommends that you masturbate an hour or two before you have sex. This can delay the time you take to ejaculate during your intercourse.
USE A THICKER CONDOM: If you think you are getting too excited too soon, ask yourself if you are using a thin condom, that is, if you are using one at all. What you can do instead is go for an option that is thicker. This will reduce your sensation, making you take longer to ejaculate.
TAKE DEEP BREATHS: NHS says, "Take a deep breath to briefly shut down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs)." This will eventually delay the process.
DO POSITIONS THAT DECREASE YOUR SENSITIVITY: NHS recommends doing your partner on top. You can actually pick any position in which you feel you are less sensitive while your partner can have his or her time.
TRY THESE TECHNIQUES DURING SEX: There are also two techniques that NHS recommends for couples facing the problem of premature ejaculation. They are - squeeze and stop-go. In squeeze, your partner masturbates you but stops when you are about to ejaculate and instead, squeezes the head of your penis. In stop-go, your partner stops after masturbating but does not squeeze. You both simply delay the process and get back at it when you are confident again.
Identified as one of the top ranked aphrodisiacs, raw oysters help in setting the mood. They are known for increasing the quantity of sperm in men. Some say that if you incorporate raw oysters in your foreplay session, the sticky, slimy flavour of raw oysters is enough to get you in the mood.
Enough has already been said about how the colour red helps in igniting passion. This red wet, drippy fruit makes for an excellent foreplay fruit. Drip the juices over your partner's body and you'll do just fine.
Full of unsaturated fats, they are rich in folic acid which helps in metabolizing proteins in the body thus giving you more energy. They are indeed excellent for your heart health and if they are good for your heart, they have to be good for your sex life. Isn't it?
Say NO to smoking for a better sex life. Nicotine in cigarettes is known to be the biggest reason for damaging veins and arteries. Smoking leads to the damaging of blood vessels - yes, even to the private parts of the body. Medically speaking, acute vasospasm, contraction of the penile tissue, and restricted blood flow to the penis are all dreadful effects of smoking. In fact, cigarette smoking can also lead to male infertility, by reducing the quality of semen.
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